The View from the Sidelines

Let's try this again

2008-09-10T19:47:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been about 8 months since I returned to the US from Haiti and I haven't done the blogging thing at all. Since then, life has gotten in the way as it has this crazy way of doing. I also feel like I don't do enough for myself and take enough "me" time. I miss having time to pray, read, or even blog all the random stuff that happens in my life. I think that the most dangerous time to abandon these important things are when it feels like life is out-of-control. Now, don't get me wrong - my life hasn't really reached out of control proportions...but I fear if I don't get on top of it now, it could spiral headlong in that direction.

I still love the view from the sidelines and so I resolve to try this again.

Coming Home

2008-01-13T17:31:00.000-08:00

This is the group at one of the SOIL toilets in the Village.
Thank God for SOIL - this is what people in Shada were using as a toilet.

Well, I’ve been back in the US for nearly 2 days and the things that I learned and saw in Haiti are still so fresh in my heart and mind. Coming home from trips like this one always require a substantial amount of time to “debrief” and process through everything. It’s often so difficult to justify everything that you’ve learned and seen with your habits and lifestyle back home. As we left the airport in Cap Haitien and flew into Fort Lauderdale, I was completely floored as I looked out the window at the perfectly planned little communities below me alongside 30 story condominium buildings. The culture, especially here in South Florida, is one of extreme excess. As I reflected on the vast difference between my life here and the lives of my new friends in Haiti, I fought back tears.

Unfortunately since I’ve returned home I really haven’t had any time to process through my experience. Immediately after arriving back in Miami, I started moving all of my stuff into a new apartment. Bad idea! As I took things off of walls in the old apartment and packed up all my stuff, I was overcome with emotion. The unbelievable amount of “stuff” that I have – once thought so important – was overwhelming and made me sick to my stomach. I had clothes in my closet that I hadn’t worn in nearly 6 months. At least it has motivated me to consolidate and give a substantial amount of my belongings away.

As I sit here in my comfortable, new bedroom surrounded by so many unnecessary luxuries, I close my eyes and I am still in Haiti. I can hear the sounds and smell the smells. I remember so vividly the beautiful and hospitable people and I am envious of the joy they’ve found in their simple lives surrounded by friends and family – joy so many of us here at home are still searching for. These memories consume me and I can’t help but marvel at the extraordinary opportunity I have been given in visiting Haiti. I will forever be grateful to Sasha Kramer and the rest of the team at SOIL and SOL, as well as to all the other people I met while in Haiti for opening my eyes again and renewing my passion for this kind of work. I am already planning my next trip back!

January 8, 2008

2008-01-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

Finally! The rain has broken and we are able to get back to work. It had rained overnight and into the morning on Tuesday, and so we weren’t able to start toilet construction first thing in the morning. Instead, we were able to have a meeting with the Mayor of Cap Haitien. He was very gracious and continuously thanked us for having the courage to come to Haiti despite all the rumors that it is a dangerous and dying country. We talked a lot about what attracted us to come to Haiti and what the government is doing in order to attract tourists back to the country.

For me, this was kind of a hard meeting to sit through. I had so many questions, but I didn’t think that I could ask any of them because it would probably come across as impolite and disrespectful. I was really curious about the day to day functioning of the government and what the Mayor sees as the primary purpose/function of his office. Most governments are primarily concerned with providing social services and taking care of the people under their jurisdiction. None of that seems to happen here in Haiti, and so it kind of begs the question of what these people do all day! There are no social services like welfare or public hospitals provided for the people. The Mayor did talk a little bit about how his office partners with some of the NGOs in the city for development projects. It seems as though they are very dependant upon outside organizations to fund these necessary projects like road construction or housing projects. I guess it is just frustrating because anyone with 2 eyes can see the desperate needs of the people in this city and beyond. Then to know that the government is next to powerless to really help them creates a very hopeless situation.

In the afternoon, we were finally able to get out to Shada and start toilet construction. By the time we got there, the masons had already laid 2 layers of block since Shada is such a wet area. By the time the chambers and the structure around the toilets are built, this toilet is certain to be one of the tallest buildings in Shada! When we got there, Rachel and I measured and cut the rod iron to build a grid pattern in order to provide reinforcement and stability to the structure. Once that was done, so were we. The boys were able to help a little bit with the mixing of cement, but that was too heavy and difficult for Rachel and me to participate in. One of the funniest stories from this trip was when the boys offered to help with the laying of the cement. When the Haitians were doing it, they would fill their buckets half full and then pour the cement on the foundation. When our boys offered to help, the Haitians would fill their buckets all the way to the top, making it nearly impossible to lift, let alone pour carefully. After about 2 rounds of buckets, the boys finally realized what was going on and so the stepped aside and let the Haitians continue doing the work. We are obviously not the skilled laborers that were necessary for the project, and so it was probably better that we step aside and let others take over. They could do it much faster and more efficiently, anyway. Plus, I understand where they are coming from. If I was in their position, I probably wouldn’t want some foreigners who had no idea what they were doing intruding on my job! I felt a little useless just standing around, but I was really grateful for the opportunity to see all the details of toilet construction from the beginning.

January 7, 2008

2008-01-08T14:40:00.000-08:00

Rain. Again. I feel like I’m back in Miami. Only in Haiti, rain forces you to cancel all plans as Haitians do not go out in the rain. We were supposed to start construction on the toilets today in Shada, but the rain forced us to cancel our plans. We wouldn’t be able to mix the cement or begin construction in the rain.

This afternoon, as a Plan B to what we were supposed to do, we met with the SOL crew and discussed their role in relation to SOIL and the projects here in Haiti. The crew consists of Josapha, Marcorel, Bobo, and Chantal. They are these amazingly capable community organizers and leaders and are so proud of all the work they have been doing in Haiti. A lot of what they talked about had to do with the presence of large international aid organizations here in Haiti and their successes and failures. USAID is a big one working in Haiti. According to the SOL crew, USAID tends to focus on shorter term “photo opportunity” projects that are not necessarily sustainable. Some of these projects include canal clean up projects that look good until the next bout of rain comes and washes all the trash back into the canals. Obviously, these projects lack what Haiti desperately needs: sustainability. Unfortunately, these larger NGOs are usually unwilling to use their funds to support the smaller grassroots organizations such as SOL which are doing work that is relevant to communities as well as sustainable.

One of the questions posed in this afternoon’s discussion had to do with whether or not we as students should try and take jobs with these larger organizations in an attempt to change these rather harmful policies. I tend to agree with Sarah on this point. She said that the most effective changes in these organizations occur when someone who has already made it to the top stops and realizes the consequences of the work his organization has been doing. It would be very hard for a student like me who would be forced to start at the bottom of that corporate ladder to get to the top in order to implement change….you simply would be forced to sacrifice too much in order to play the game. I’m sure it would be very tempting to take job offers with these large organizations once I graduate. They are able to offer stability, a salary, benefits, and other things that will be necessary for me to begin a life after graduation. How could I consciously work with them when I do not believe in their policies and practices? When my heart is with the people (which people I’m not sure yet), how could I live with myself if I chose to abandon what I know they needed in order to sustain myself? It is hard to focus on these long term sustainability projects when you are unable to meet your own basic needs. I guess time will tell. For now, let’s focus on actually getting through this journey known as college!

Crossing the Line

2008-01-06T05:17:00.000-08:00

One thing I’m struggling with while in Haiti (and whenever I travel in developing countries) is the whole issue of bartering. While it is obvious that the people here have nothing and their little crafts or services are the only way that they can support their families, where do you draw the line between being generous and getting scammed? I mean, there has to come a point where you are no longer willing to pay $5 for a wooden necklace … the exact copy of the million other ones you saw for cheaper from a different peddler. I’m perfectly willing to pay the “white price” but where is the line?

Today we visited the Citadelle, a historical Haitian fort built the in 1805, the year after the Haitians gained their independence. Cristoffe had this fort built in order to keep a look out for invading armies. After being subjected to over 300 years of colonial rule, the Haitians have a right to want to keep people out. It’s a really beautiful sight that many have called “The 8th Wonder of the World." They fail to mention that this wonder is nearly 5 miles up a mountain. I hiked up about ¾ of the way and then I was so tired and sore (and without water) that I succumbed to the pressure to hire a man and his horse to take me up the rest of the mountain. “$10” he said to which I replied “Well for $10, I’ll keep walking.” When I got him down to $10 for the rest of the way up and the return trip down, I agreed. I had about $15 US in my pocket and I figured I would give him the whole thing as a tip for helping me and waiting for me while we toured the Citadelle. When we got to the bottom and I handed him the $15, he scoffed in my face and said how could I pay him so little for providing his services. Well, we had agreed on $10 so I kind of figured I was being pretty generous. This man, Lulu, had followed me since we arrived at the bottom of the mountain and wouldn’t leave me alone. Regardless of whether or not I agreed to use his horse, the man still would have followed me up the mountain and then expected some sort of tip when I didn’t even solicit his services. The whole experience left me feeling scammed and like a crappy person. I wasn’t trying to rip the guy off, but I mean come on…we don’t tip 50% in the US! Plus with the language barrier, he may have thought he communicated to me in his broken English but I didn’t get it. I guess I’m just not a fan of those blurry, always changing lines. For now, I’d much prefer the posted prices in the US … even if they’re overpriced.

Random Story #2

2008-01-06T05:14:00.000-08:00

You know how some people are way cooler than others? Ok, that sounds bad and very ‘high school’ but everyone can admit to it. Some people just have something about them that makes you go “Man, he/she is cool.” The kids that we have been traveling with and hanging out with around the SOIL house are Rosemond, his brother Wisnel, and this other boy Denik and these guys are the coolest. Like I said earlier, Rosemond is famous for his beautiful songs about life in Haiti. He’s got the whitest smile and a heart of gold. You can always count on him for some laughs or just to warm your heart. Wisnel is the softest and gentlest of the three. He usually sits quietly but once he opens up, you can see his amazing character and sense of humor. He is really afraid of cats which shouldn’t be funny, but really is. Today in Petit Anse, he picked up this tiny, perhaps 3 week old, kitten and basically threw it at Sasha. Just the fact that he touched it is a big step for Wisnel. When he finds things scary or funny or strange he says “Oh my god” with an accent that could be mistaken for Long Island so it sounds more like “Oh my gawd”. It’s the funniest thing ever. Denik takes care of the garden here at the house. Always singing and dancing, he is always good for a laugh … or fifty. I almost died yesterday when, out of the blue, he started singing American rap songs “Everyday I’m hustling, every day I’m hustling hustling”…. Oh my gawd was it funny.

Random Thoughts for the Day

2008-01-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

The group and Doug at PPT

My faith in the grass roots movement has been restored here in Haiti. Yesterday I met a man named Doug who works with Sasha and the SOIL crew here in Cap. His project, called Projet Pierre Toussaint (PPT), was developed to help former street boys find a new life. The program is set up in 3 phases:

(I.) Intake Center: This is a center in Cap Haitien where street boys can come during the day. Most of them are still high on paint thinner or glue and the center provides them with 7-8 hours of safety and protection. They can take a shower, change their clothes, have a good meal and go to school.

(II). The Village: Boys from the intake center who are interested in truly rehabilitating their lives are given the option to go to the village. Doug and a social worker meet with the boy and his family and sign a contract putting forth what is to be provided by the family and the expectations of the boy, the institution and the family. Keeping in touch and reconnecting with the family are a very important part of the program. Boys whose families do not live in Cap Haitien can live in dorms at the village. Here they go to school and learn vocational skills. They have started raising rabbits, which is the coolest little micro enterprise I’ve ever seen. They raise the rabbits and then they can sell them to hotels or rich people as food. This extra income is place into an account for the boys and added to their allowance. They boys can stay in the village for up to 6 years or whenever they are old enough to go to high school.

(III). High School: When the boys are old enough to go to high school, they are given 3 options:

· Go home and live with the family while they attend high school – this is the preferred model.

· Live in one of the PPT owned houses in Cap with some of the other boys from the program while attending high school

· Move to a group home here in Cap where the boys receive constant adult supervision and rigidly structured days. This is used for boys with more emotional needs or support.

By seeing the boys through this project, Doug and the rest of the staff at PPT have saved the lives of these boys in every sense of the word. God willing, we will be building a second toilet in the Village next week. Hopefully the rain stops by then…..

Testing 1, 2, 3

2008-01-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

Wisnel, Rachel, myself and Rosemond on the beach in Cap Haitien

Here goes my first shot at blogging. I am not a very technological person, so blogging still kind of scares me. Imagine my surprise when I found out that keeping a blog would be required of me for a class! I'm currently in Haiti for 10 days before my classes start up again in the middle of January. Myself, and 4 other students from the University of Miami are working with an organization known as SOIL (Sustained Organic Integrated Livelihoods) in Cap Haitien, located in Northern Haiti. This is your advanced warning that this blog will probably be a jumbled collection of my random thoughts and stories. Continue reading at your own risk.

Day 2 in Cap Haitien is coming to a close and it has been a beautiful day. After yesterday’s scorching heat, you learn to thank God each time the breeze blows. I’ve spent the last two days trying to learn as much as I can here in Haiti. Yesterday, after arriving here in Cap and settling into the SOIL house, we took a guided tour of the city along with Rosemond and his brother Wisnel. Rosemond won the equivalent of "American Idol" here in Haiti and is a bona fide celebrity. Everywhere we went, people knew him and he had to greet his adoring public. Walking with him probably did wonders for my reputation....if anyone knew me here.

We walked all over the entire city and saw some beautiful and also heartbreaking sights. The city sits at the bottom of these beautiful mountains. It is a beautiful sight in the morning as the mist rises off the top and you can smell the beginnings of cooking fires. As we walked along we saw all types of schools, hotels, and plazas. The houses here are so beautifully built. The architecture is unreal. If Haiti weren’t “Haiti” then this city would be one of the hottest cities in the Caribbean surrounded by both mountains and the ocean.

One of the coolest things we saw on our walk was a street market with vendors peddling everything from vegetables to chickens (you’d have to pay extra to have it plucked and skinned) to chicklet gum. The vendors took up half the street and the other half was solid people which made following the group rather challenging.

I can’t say whether Haiti is what I expected it to be or not because I didn’t really have any expectations. I had absolutely no idea what to expect coming here and so – like my friend Andy always says – I’ll never be disappointed. The people here are so open and beautiful. Any casual observer of Haitians would assume they are all related. They share an incredible bond stemming from their shared history and experiences and this bond is easily seen here. I admit to not understanding the language, and so I may be completely misinterpreting whatever is happening, but to my untrained eye they all seem so connected. I first noticed this connection on the flight here from Florida. As the only white girl and non Creole speaker, I was seriously out of my comfort zone on the tiny airplane we used to fly here. The other 10 people on the plane acted as if they’d known each other for years in the way they laughed and talked and told stories. This is one of the things I’ve really loved about Haiti. That personal connection is sorely lacking in the States which is probably why so many people are depressed and lonely. I see it so much in a University setting. All of the students come from their different backgrounds knowing that they need to make friends in order to survive the next four years. All anyone really wants is to connect with someone around them and the Haitians have clearly mastered this skill. Despite the poverty and sadness, they have found joy in their relationships and spending time with other people. This is so important when working in places like Haiti. Coming to the realization that, in the long run, it would be more important to spend time with the people in conversation than on any other project is essential for success.